Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bad Hair Day

For those battling hair loss the phrase "Bad Hair Day" takes on an entirely different meaning.  I can't tell you how annoying it is to hear a friend (with a full head of hair) complain about a bad hair day.  Their hair is too frizzy, too flat, too curly, too long, too short, needs to be colored, etc...but regardless of their hair woes I bet they don't spend 45 minutes in front of the mirror EVERY SINGLE MORNING trying to hide bald or thinning spots.  Trying to squeeze an ounce of volume out of hair that needs CPR and trying (and failing) to make the hair non-see thru.  Now that's a bad hair day and that is how I spend everyday.  
     Yesterday I literally could not look at myself in the mirror any longer, even passing by a mirror made me sick to my stomach so I opted for the do-rag look (a stylish Coach do-rag, whatever works right?) but a do-rag, nonetheless.  I was trying out the look as a- just in case this becomes my forever look- type experiment.  My kids were curious, but quickly got over seeing me with a scarf around my head and moved husband was a different story.  He scoffed at first, telling me I was jumping to extreme measures.  Then he became frustrated and told me I was just giving up and giving in, he called this being negative about my situation.  Truth was, in my mind, this was me embracing the hair loss and trying to be positive.  I was somewhat facing a very real and possibly soon-to-be reality and I was relieved not to see my hair or feel the shedding all day long.  It was a bit of a much needed break.  This break, however, opened my eyes to something else though.  My husband, who is trying to be supportive of this thing that has consumed my our lives, is just as scared as I am.  What would it be like to have a bald wife?  Would he be able to cope if it came to that?  
     Needless to say I was expecting a miraculous turn around with the Steroid cream on my head and the Biotin pills, I was overly optimistic and now my optimism is turning into gloom and doom.  This is not the end of my battle, but the beginning sure does suck!   

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